Hard Lesson Learned

I knew when I married Tim that being a military wife would be hard but knowing and actually experiencing it are two different things. We move a lot, we don't have a "home", and with not having a place to call home we are forced to make new friends all the time. While this was semi-exciting in the beginning it has become old as I have gotten older and gone through 4 moves in 8ish years.

I have recently had to question what I would qualify as a friend as I have many types.

Type 1 - The high school friends.
  I have a few of these and thanks to good people at Facebook it has made it easier to keep in contact with them and I thank you FB. These were some of the people that I thought I would never see again unless I went back to the reunion (which I don't have any intentions on doing so, unless I live close) or I was back visiting my family in NC and happen to see one of them while I was out and about.

Type 2 - College Friends
  I do have quite a few of these as I loved college at good ol' Chowan and I do/did see some of these people recently when I went to a friend's wedding. Although I would like to see more of them more often, my location comes into play as it always has but would make it a point to back to Chowan and visit. We will always be the Braves in my mind.

Type 3 - Best Friends
  I only have 4 of these and those people know who they are. They are the type of person that I can say that I talked to my Mom, sister, MIL, etc. and not have to give a 20 minute background story on. They are the people that know my story and what makes me tick. What makes me sad and what really gets to me. These are the people that I talk to on a semi-regular basis or if I don't talk to them we can pick up a conversation right where we left off even if days, weeks, months, and yes even a few years. I miss these people often.

Type 4 - Facebook Friends
  I really think this is everyone. I don't have a lot of people on my FB and that's for a reason. If you are on there its because you are my friend in some way shape of form. I have some friends because I like what they post, whether it be something funny, or a picture of their dog(s), or I can see how big their kids have gotten. You all have a purpose in my life and thank you for it whether you know it or not.

Type 5 - Work Friends
  I work from home so I do not have any of these, but have had them in the past. They have always made my life at work more interesting. They are the ones that I would tell my random thoughts to or just tell them something funny that happened on the way to work. I miss these type of friends and hope that one day, when I go back to work at a job that isn't my home that I will have these type of friends again.

I have recently put my a friendship over my business and it bit me...hard. By doing this I have put my friend over my family because my business is my family and I won't do that again. So I lost a friend and I lost business. I know that not everyone is going to like me and I need to be okay with that, which is hard for me sometimes. I don't like people to be mad at me, it bothers me. I need to learn to remember that the only person that I can control is me and I need to keep that in mind when I talk to other people. By controlling what I say and how I say it I limit myself to the company that I will keep (e.g. not many friends) and I will have to work harder for what I want (more friends). But as always, I know I will be okay in the end. I need to refocus on what's important and that is me and my little family and figuring out what is best for us.

It can get lonely but it is nothing that I'm not use to, but in my mind I want a quality friend and if it takes being lonely for a while I know it will be worth it.